


In which Palpatine misspeaks

by carryonmywaywardsonofabitch



Series: In which Palpatine gets screwed [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: CC-2224 | Cody Needs a Break, CC-2224 | Cody is So Done, Cody: I'm in love, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, M/M, Mentioned 212th Attack Battalion (Star Wars), Obi-Wan with no caff: talk shit get hit, Order 66 Happened Differently (Star Wars), Other, Palpatine Gets Rekt, Quinlan has no idea of etiquette, Quinlan shows up later, Sheev Palpatine | Darth Sidious Being an Asshole, The 212th's dependency on caff, these oneshots are going to keep getting weirder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-13 21:20:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29657460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carryonmywaywardsonofabitch/pseuds/carryonmywaywardsonofabitch
Summary: In which two words can cause the death of a sith lord.
Relationships: CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi
Series: In which Palpatine gets screwed [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2177526
Comments: 26
Kudos: 310





	In which Palpatine misspeaks

It was the caff’s fault.

No, not CC-1323, nicknamed ‘Caff’.

Or maybe it was, Caff _was_ in charge of the 212th’s meal intake.

Yeah, Cody blamed both. It was simply easier that way.

The 212th was a high strung battalion that ran on caffeine. Although he wouldn’t admit it, Kenobi was just as addicted as they were. He’s seen the wonders the Jedi could manage, having guzzled down three gallons of the stuff and he’s sure the droids that day wouldn’t forget it either...had they still had their programming intact. But, he’s seen the horrors of a Jedi General not having any stimulants for the day,having to stop the general from _hugging Grievous on the battlefield._ And then essentially having to stop the general from manually hooking up a caff machine to his veins when they got back to the ship.

So, don’t blame Cody for what happened! He had no control over the barbarians that he called brothers.

They had just come from a mission that had taken over two weeks to complete and they ran out of caff on the fourth day. You can tell how drowsy they were. And then of course, he had the meeting with the War Council which always took too much out of him, but at least his brothers were there with their support. 

“General Kenobi, I hope you do remember that your troopers must wait outside until our meeting is over?” 

“Well, Chancellor, you asked for a meeting report, which is what they are here for, unless with all your free time, you managed to forget _who_ is fighting the war that _you refuse to end_.” 

A part of him did secretly like uncaffinated General Kenobi. He lost all sense of proper decorum. It was kind of hot…

Palpatine flushed at that.

“Of course I do, Master Jedi…”

Cody was ashamed to admit that he blocked out the rest of the conversation.

He tuned back in when he knew the meeting was almost over, it was almost like a sixth sense he had; to know when people were finally going to shut up.

General Yoda had suggested something of some sorts, probably having to do with those new ion cannons they had just received.

The Chancellor had nodded and seemed to agree with whatever was said and decided to broadcast his agreement with two words.

Two words that would have caused no problems for a caffeinated army squadron.

It was quick.

Cody blinked.

“Roger—”

He moved without thought, as did the rest of his brothers, and in a span of half a second, the Chancellor’s body fell to the ground, body riddled with blaster shots and his head neatly detached from his body, the word ‘that’, forever frozen on his lips.

Nobody spoke.

Then, Quinlan Vos burst into the room holding two lightsabers that clearly didn’t belong to him.

“Guys! You won’t believe who the Sith Lord is! It’s...Is this a bad time?”


End file.
